white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
