I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
