it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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