She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
