i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
