My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
