It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
