he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
