she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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