I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
