Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
