Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
