Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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