i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
