ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
