I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
