Grow some girl-balls and come out already
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
