we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
