cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My bed smells like the plague
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
