I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
