Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Your penis caused this!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
