Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're too hungover to prance.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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