i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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