living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
