Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
