So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I had to cum in my sink.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize