I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
