how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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