Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize