The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
