I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
