i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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