Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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