so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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