No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
