i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm really busy with my period
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