Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Randomize
