guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Can I color on your dick again?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
