508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
