I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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