do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
