Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
