i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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