I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
