We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
