i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
