Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
