It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
