my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
