He felt like a one man threesome
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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