I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
