if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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