I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize