I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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