so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
