okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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