no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
