Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am spending my child support on dildos
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize