woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
