I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Im just a social blackout drinker.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
