come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
