dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
