Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
