Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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