47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
