Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize