it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
