do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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