dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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