i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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