I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
