it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
