some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
All I want is dick and wine.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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