Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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