i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
