I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
