I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
