You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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