After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
