I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
